Text 1 – Story Narrative
– Use of dependent clause ‘One morning,’ with correct comma makes simple sentence more advanced.
– Repetition of adjective; ‘Heavy,’ creates rhythm and emphasis.
– Exaggeration (hyperbole) develops strong imagery ‘blew me everywhere in the whole world.’
– Exclamation mark gives strong emotional quality and variety in punctuation.
– “Leaf Person” is a strong example of creative writing by a year 1-2 student by using simple and complex sentence structure, including coordinating conjunctions to make compound sentences, ‘I didn’t know where I was, so I went on a rocket.’ This shows a strong grasp of cause and effect and sequencing of the story.
– The student uses a diverse range of description and reflection to create imagery and a character.
Thoughtful Learning (2015). Student Model: Leaf Person. [online] K-12 Thoughtful Learning. Available at: https://k12.thoughtfullearning.com/studentmodels/leaf-person
Text 2 – Poetry
– References to sights and feelings evoke strong sensory detail.
– The repeated ‘b’ sounds of ‘beautiful’ and ‘burning’ creates an alliterative quality
– This student is showing an introductory grasp of a rhyming scheme through the assonance of ‘bright’ and ‘night’ in the second stanza.
– Dividing the poetry into lines and stanzas gives the writing strong structure
– Great use of careful descriptions that develop visceral imagery.
– This poem by a year 2 student balances literal sights, such as ‘snow on the ground’ with more metaphorical and sensory insights; ‘the magnificent winter in my hand.’
Text 3 – Book Review
– Unlike a report, a review invites personal opinion and reflection evidenced by the students reference to their ‘favourite part.’ Describing elements of the story in the student’s own words builds a foundation of strong analytical and summarising skills.
– Justifying their opinion, the student gives an explanation on the specific components of the book they enjoyed.
– The student gives a recommendation considering the audience.
Text 4 – Instructions and Commands
– By using strong commanding verbs the student demonstrates a grasp on the language of instructions.
– Title is clear with correct use of capitals.
– Layout and format of materials, order and conclusion correct structure
– Limit to personal or emotive tone focusing on necessary and direct information.
– Use of the conditional clause in step four advances simple sentence.