Text 1 – Persuasive Editorial
– Introduction presents a clear opinion and thesis.
– Sequencing terms like ‘First of all’ lay out a strong structure and academic tone.
– Appeal to sympathetic family values demonstrates a clear target audience; ‘A child feels good about rescuing an abandoned or abused animal and giving it a whole new life.’ The particular choice of ‘a whole new life’ enhances a hopeful tone also.
– Using gentle terms like ‘put to sleep’ rather than a more direct reference to the confronting reality emphasises child friendly tone considerate of the audience.
– ‘Sign positing’ the supporting arguments in the first paragraph demonstrates strong essay structure.
– Positively associated descriptions like ‘cute and cuddly’ both engage an alliterative quality and use a rhetoric tool to invoke psychological and emotional response.
– Use of ‘fancy pet store’ suggests derogatory implications invoking ironic tone and functions as a biased, emotionally charged phrase designed to immediately bias the reader or listener against the subject.
Thoughtful Learning (2015). Student Model: Leaf Person. [online] K-12 Thoughtful Learning. Available at: https://k12.thoughtfullearning.com/studentmodels/leaf-person
Text 2 – Informative Report
– Offering Rhetorical Question, ‘Do you know why?’ encourages curiosity.
– Body paragraphs direct to facts and research, terms defined clearly; ‘That means they eat meat.’
– Concluding statement offers reflection and room for personal opinion
– Spacing of paragraphs creates strong structure making information easy to read.
Text 3 – Personal Recount
– Hyperbolic terms, ‘like crazy!’ emphasise excitement and emotive tone.
– Student demonstrates clear understanding of sequencing of events and cause and effect evidenced by coordinating or subordinating conjunctions, ‘so,’ or ‘then.’
– Correct use of capitals for proper nouns like names.
– Maintains recount in correct past tense for verbs.
– Compound sentences built through good use of commas and conjunctions, ‘Amy sat in the front seat, and I sat in the back.’
– Onomatopeia evokes a strong sense of shock and impact, ‘CRASH!’
– The visual imagery of Amy ‘looking like a spider caught in its own spider web’ advances this student by using a well conceived and descriptive simile.
– Recount is concluded with resolving reflection, ‘I had a lot of fun that day, and I will never forget it!
Text 4 – Instructions and Commands
The Day I Took the Spotlight
Wouldn’t it be superb to have one moment when you took the spotlight, to have everybody clapping for you and cheering loudly? I have had that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—the day I took the spotlight!
Sometime in February, my teacher told us all about the Woodmen of America speech contest. The topic was “people who have overcome obstacles in their lives.” I thought my great-grandma Lorraine Parsley, who has had recurring cancer 13 times and is still living, would be perfect. She has overcome a lot of obstacles in her life.
A couple weeks later, the class gave their presentations. My teacher had to pick three to five students to go on to the next level. I was one of them! Then the top five from each of the three fifth-grade classes competed. The top seven would be the finalists; again, I was one of them! The top seven worked really hard. We had until March 15, 2022, to practice.
March 15 rolled around. Before I knew it, I was in our school gym with people all around, including the judges, listening to every word I said. I was the sixth to present. I was soon done; what a relief! I knew the top seven got ribbons, certificates, and pins; but I still wanted that trophy.
After the seventh person finished, the judges made their final decisions. They announced the winners. The third-place winner was Aunum, the second-place winner was Sarah, and the first-place winner was Kelli! I had just won first place! I was ecstatic.
That was my once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. The students in the audience were going wild clapping and cheering! That was a moment I will always remember, when I took the spotlight!
– Notice how the title signals a personal achievement and builds anticipation
– Opening hook offers a clear statement of purpose by posing a rhetorical question establishing excitement in tone
– Try opening your own narrative with a bold hypothetical question like this
– Paragraph 2 outlines context and setting clearly
– Students can build similar tension in their narrative structure by showing stages of process, repeating key phrases for emphasis and breaking down events sequentially
– Paragraph 4 involves the approaching climax of the story by giving internal thoughts and emotional reactions; consider to build purpose, slow down important moments
– Reflective ending and resolution; circular structure returning to the idea of ‘taking the spotlight’ links back to the title
– Strong endings reflect the meaning of the event and show personal growth or memory